Its been a long year

Okay Michele,( with 1 L) here you are.........
After feeling the winter hawk blow through the tree bare trees, I am reminded of the fact that it has been one year since God turned my world upside down, literally. Let me explain;
It was this time last year that during a brief meeting with a freind that I read the "job description" for the K-2 Director of PV. After reading the paper, I looked up at Bobbie and she asked, "what can't you do on this list that you can't learn?" Followed with the question," have you even prayed about it?" I am pretty sure that it was an off the cuff question, and looking back, I have wondered many times just why I remember that so vividly? I know that it was a pivotal moment for a change that I never saw coming. As they say, God has a plan for all of us. This is definitely not one that I saw coming, it was more like being broadsided by a bus! None the less, I read, I thought, and I prayed. From the first time I prayed about it, there began a stirring in my soul like I had felt just a few times before, but never about something so crazy! I mean, how nuts is the whole idea. I am a hairdresser, 30 years and counting, and still loving it. Some have said that I had the perfect work situation. I was successful, had many clients, I loved what I was doing, had a great schedule, made great money, had wonderful clients that I had grew to love, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
As I prayed about this opportunity. I began to have sleepless nights. There was a wrestling in my soul. God was nudging me. It seemed to me that he was nudging me, ever so gently, none the less it was toward a cliff, with a great big drop off!! A GIANT leap to something that I didn't want. It wasn't me. It just wasn't me! Working at a CHURCH! What a feakin joke! NOT POSSIBLE! Give up all I had worked for . NOT POSSIBLE. Make less money, work more hours, NOT POSSIBLE! I loved serving there, but working there, leave the Salon? Not Possible!
God certainly had another plan. He knew as much as I wanted to keep my life comfortable, that being obedient to Him was more important. He saw thing in me that I did not see in myself. Good and bad. He knew that He could only use me the way that He wanted to use me, for the kingdom, that He had to adjust my comfort level just a bit. Okay, a lot! I feel like a vase that was full. Full of water, full of flowers and full of myself. I was okay, but not the way he wanted me to be, so that he could fulfill the purpose that He had for me, at this time of my life.
So from the time I said yes to Him, He began taking me, like a vase and first he shook the vase, then he pulled the flowers out, one at a time, until there were none. Then it was time to dump the water. A little smelly, like water gets in a vase after a while. One slosh and then another. As the vase, I, emptied, there wasnt much room for what He wanted to put in there. I see it as humility. One must be humble to truly serve the King. When you are emptied of yourself, you must rely on Him for everything. I knew quickly that this was not a task that i could do unless I leaned on Him, and on some days, He has carried me. One foot in front of the other. Then again. No magic. Just perseverance. Just walking with Him. Just learning to trust in Him, and not myself.
My faith has grown. I am a more humble person. I walk in blind faith daily. I am still uncomfortable, but its getting better. I think I am finally over being mad. Ha! That sounds funny, but oh, its true. I have visualized Him like a parent watching a child having a temper tantrum, just watching and smiling (okay remember He is God- he would laugh!). He is giving me all the time I need. He gives me little glimpses of what He has for me now and again, and as I choose to see His provision, I am amazed. He has taught me so much. So quickly. It has been a constant reminder of how much I mean to Him and how much He loves me, how much He believes in me. Enough to trust me with the precious souls that he surrounds me with daily.
Today I had the experience of holding the face of a little boy, whose Daddy had died suddenly. Its been 2 days, and there he was, in K-2, looking for love and kindness. I shuttered as I saw him, and thought, "I can't do this", and than the still small voice came and said " this is why I have brought you here- I AM with you!". It was tough, but it was okay, and the hug & smile he left me with was something I will not forget. And from there I was able to hug a young man that felt like killing himself this week, and he reached out to me, trusting that I could handle what he had to say. He's okay. It was a BAD week and he is working through it. But he wanted to be in K-2 today. And then the huge, tattooed, Biker guy that comes to pick up his son, and he looked at me and told me that " he loved this church and bringing his kids here". I asked him to come and be a part of it. His eyes looked deeply into mine and he said " you mean it? I would love that!"
I know that as the days go by, God will bless me in many ways, and I will have many stories to share. And I will see Jesus work many wonders in the lives of those that come seeking Him. Big people, small people, messed up people, together people, hurting people, happy people. His people.
I will do what he calls me to do as he fill me up, like a vase, with what he sees fit. What he wants for me. I pray that I will always be humble enough to accept what he has for me. Graciously, just as He gives it.
We will see what this next year brings, as he nudges me, carries me and loves me.

The Big Yellow Bus

Well, today there was a sighting of "The Big Yellow Bus" which is a sign that the new school year has begun. For some, they are so excited and for others a dreaded day. First day of kindergarten all the way to the first day of college. Not to mention those that begin their senior year. Whoa, that's a BIG deal. I remember thinking that time would suddenly move faster, and it did. The senior year flew by. Full of business and a hectic schedule packed full of all that life in American High school has to offer. Quickly the "big Yellow Bus" was no longer welcome to the end of 16224 Hideout drive. Its purpose was to pick up the other kids on the route, but not ever stop at 16224. It became the ultimate "wild" card to play in the game of discipline. Playing the BYB (Big Yellow Bus) card was the dreaded tool in keeping things in line. Only to be played when necessary and only as a last resort. After all it was so humiliating for a SENIOR to have to walk down the drive and onto the steps of the bus filled with all those uncool, noisy, children! One time the SENIOR at 16224 gave up her cell phone for a full week as to not choose the horrible consequence of the BYB . Ahhhh, the glory days of the BYB wild card are now gone, and we have a brand new excieting adventure to embrace, and I guess now I pass the baton to my neighbor, Lori, who can now use this cruel but sometimes necessary wild card in the rearing of her 3 sons, one who started driving this year.
Today the BYB drove down Hideout Drive and had no stop to make at 16224. There will never be a reason for them to stop here, unless of course we move and another family inhabits this home. Life have now moved past the BYB phase for the Poling/Peery family. I am sure there will be a time very soon when I will long to go back to the simplicity of such discipline and wished that the consequences of life would only demand a short ride on a bus to right the wrongs, but for now. I will drink my Hot Tea and reminisce about the days gone by and dream of the future for the young woman who use to walk down the driveway and board the BYB at 16224 Hideout Drive.

Lessons from the River

Finally! a few days off. I didn't think I would make it. I have never longed for some time as I did this week. After 6 months with my new job I was wearing down. Brain overload, physical overload ,and bad attitude over load! Back to that whole feeding the soul thought........it was time. Time to chill out, take a break and spend some time in nature
. Mr. Poling and I had looked forward to a weekend adventure on the river. Some friends extended the invitation to join them, and several other UPS employees that were looking for a get away on the Niangua River, close to Bennett Springs State Park. We said " sign us up".We have looked looked forward to the trip all winter.
Yesterday was the big day and we arrived early to the canoe rental and camp ground. Upon our arrival I noticed how things seemed, well, different since my last float trip. I wondered was it me, or are things really that different? By the end of our day on the river, I had my answer. It was ME..................and things had in fact changed a lot !!
Let me explain. When we arrived to the canoe rental/campground there were several groups gathered together anticipating the bus ride to the "put in". Our group was a more seasoned group, shall we say........okay, okay.......a more senior group would be more accurate. There were several young people who sat in clusters drinking massive amounts of alcohol and drinking it as quickly as possible for that mega buzz they longed for, using filthy language that would make a sailor blush, and sharing the stories of what they might look forward to on the river, much of which included their large supply of" beads". As I stood and observed this "breakfast of champions" as they referred to it, I had a feeling of sadness. I could see them as "our" sons and daughters. They longed for significance and to be noticed by their peers.What ever it took, they were willing to do.It wasn't an issolated case. It was every where we looked. I instantly felt old, a bit like a relic, as did the rest of our group. We all agreed that we were more than happy to have the years of experience under ( some over) our belts, and did a little prophesying about the way the day would end and well, as you can imagine, we were right. It was pretty ugly for most. One young man in particular was hanging on to the raft, with the help of his friends, while he lost the contents of his breakfast for most of the 10 miles.It ws ugly. Some went to jail vai the waterpatrol that had many officers watching the river . Many just passed out to be floated down stream while their buddies made sure they got back alive. I got to have a conversation with this young man at the end of our day and I asked him what his plans were now that he graduated high school. He said " wow, dude. I really don't know". I wasn't surprised. I could see the void in his eyes and his soul. It reminded me of the value of what I do. So many faces on the river just like his. Jesus could change his world. ROCK his world, for suchgreater purpose.It was a nudge from God that said" keep pluggin away, these kids matter to me and to you."

When Rick and I got into our canoe I asked him to just tell me what he wanted me to do. Paddle on the left, the right whatever. His reply was to take my Orr out of the water and put it in the canoe and let him be my captain. I agreed reluctantly. It seemed like I would be lazy not to "help". He assured me that it would be fine, and reminded me that it worked better with one person making the quick decisions on the river.Every ship has one captain he said. He said "trust me" and I did. We had a wonderful time. Much of the day was spent watching our friends, one by one chase the contents of their canoes down the river, and yelling at one another for the stupid choices that they made while they both tried to steer their canoe. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Very interesting.

. It rained on us most of the day, but we didn't care. We dressed for "wet" anyway.We were one of the few that didn't dump and one of the few couples that still liked each other when we arrived back at the camp. I think Rick philosophy about having one captain of a ship is worth noting. We made it back to our evening gathering. Some still angry. Some not speaking and the rest of us laughing and telling stories from the day on the river. As I sat listening to everyone, it occurred to me that when you chose to get into the boat the first thing you must decide is who will be that captain, and then you must trust in that decision. As a Christan we all make the decision to get into the boat and riding where ever Christ takes us. Letting him be our captain. is the only way. He will give us safe passage and grow us in maturity along the way, giving us the opportunity to serve Him and who ever he brings our way. Trusting in your captain allows you to relax and leave tough stuff to him. Be sides, every time we try to take over, we mess up, and we spend lots of time trying to "chase our stuff".
I can say that all the years in between where I am and the place where the young man I spoke with on the river has taught me much. I know where I am going from here, I know who my captain is, and I know that I can trust Him where ever He takes me.
Ahhhhhhh, its good to be old!

Look at all these weeds!

Look at all these weeds........that's was my thought as I looked at my garden. It is filled with all kinds of beautiful perennial flowers, and now weeds!I have been feeding, watering and tending to these beauties for years now and in a few short days, with all the wonderful mix of rain and sunshine, I NOW HAVE LOTS OF WEEDS.UGH! I have not been spending time in my garden as life has been so busy. As I started the weeding this morning, this fabulously beautiful morning, I started drawing a connection to the fact that when I don't tend to my garden the weeds come, the beauty of the flowers become lost behind the weeds, and the overall appearance isn't the same. So is true with a christian when they don't tend to their souls. Spiritual tending. Time with Jesus, reading the Word, worship(both private and corporate). The weeds begin to grow and separate us from the beauty that hides beyond them. We become frustrated,short tempered, self-absorbed, less than kind, prideful and sometime even arrogant. The Holy Spirit no longer can lead. We want to lead. We have better ideas. When you find yourself experiencing this, stop and ask yourself.........have I been tending to my soul?
Hey, when its time to weed, weed! Get rid of all that junk that's steals the beauty from your garden /soul. It will take over eventually if you don't. Galatians 5:22 it speaks about the Holy Spirit controlling our lives and the fruits of the spirit. You get fruit or you get weeds. Check your garden /soul. Tend to your garden, and tend your soul and enjoy the beauty that life has to offer.

There is plenty of room for Jesus in K-2 !

One of my favorite sayings has become" there is plenty of room for Jesus ". I usually say that when I feel like "I" don't have things under control and therefore there is room for Jesus to show up and take care of things. He ALWAYS shows up!
This weekend was another weekend of lots of our wonderful volunteers traveling and spending time "doing" summer with their families,and many were gone from their spots here in K-2. Every Saturday afternoon I start getting those little butterflies in my stomach as the cell phone begins to light up and on the other end I hear the dreaded words" somethings come up", but no matter who calls and who cancels, I hear the quiet wisper of Jesus saying to me " this is my concern, these are my sheep, I will provide". It's a constant reminder that this is about His competence and not mine. And He does what he says He can do, day after day, weekend after weekend. This wekend was no exception. The lesson was incredible , thanks you Chris Conner and Vergil, and the all the other volunteers. You are amazing ! We had several pop in to see if we needed help and we did. The children came like little sheep and once again they were feed well. Thank you volunteers , and most of all, thank you Jesus!
We are learning about humility. Something we all need to work on. Kids and adults alike are learning to put others first. "U first" has been our focus. I am reminded that "Jesus first" is the key to humilty. Its not about me its always about Him.
Now on to prepare for the next time we get to feed His sheep..........

My First Day on the Blog Scene....

My first day on the blog scene began with a gentle nudge from my friend Stacey. I have thought little of blogging, mostly because I am such a random thinker, and to actually put my thought where others could read them, might seem , well, crazy! But after little prodding and help setting up my account..........here I go! Weeeeeeeeeee! See already I am having way too much fun.( I think its the Route 44 Cherry Limeaide hitting my bloodstream.) Thank you Stacey for sending me on my way and the look in your eye of "go for it girl". Sometimes we don't know that a little nudging one way or the other can help create an energy that effects change.Change that will now help to carry me into this new frontier of communication in which I have sat back on my heels and screamed................NO, I WON'T GO!........well ...MAYBE? .......Oh my......I'm here! applause!