Redemption

Well, it has been about 2 months since I entered into my latest adventure. After much preparation I was able to join a group of people they answered the call to assist the Warden and Assistant Warden of Western Missouri Correctional Facility in their desire to encourage production in the Green House behind the wire and razored edged fence of the prison they lend their careers to. We are a group complied of eager volunteers that come with extreme levels of experience. We have those that come as Master Gardeners and vast amounts of experience, those who have master gardener and farming experience, and then there are those like me that come clueless, but eager to get dirty and see green stuff grow. At first this huge chasm of experience seemed to large to bridge, but what brought us to a level playing field were the inmates that came to serve. These particular offenders, as they are called, come with diverse backgrounds, like us, they had the desire to make this project successful, like us, they wanted to be in a place where spring seemed closer than winter, like us, and they had experience in the greenhouse unlike us. They trumped our butts on knowledge and experience and the fact that this was their Green House. The place where they escape their stale reality of living a life that is the ultimate ground hog day. Over and over……their cells, the yard, the chow hall, whatever jobs they were lent to and then DO OVER! I realized quickly that this was more than a job for them. It was a blessing, a privilege, a joy, something they loved, right in the center of a world that was surrounded by intensity, darkness, regret and loneliness. A place where there is new life, something growing. In the green house it smells wonderful and is so beautiful. You almost forget that you’re in a prison. One constant reminder of the reality of prison is the “count”. About 6 times a day each man returns to his housing unit to be counted. This can take 30 minutes of 3 hours, depending on if the count is right. I know it’s important, but after awhile it gets on your last nerve. Just when we are rolling along getting stuff done…its time for count. On the first day I met “Choppy”, a short, dark, quiet Latino man. He is an expert! He comes from a family of farmers from the mountains close by Acapulco Mexico. He is fast, efficient, and kind. He learned quickly that we relied on his experience. Choppy was always gracious to stop and teach, assist, or just smile and shakes his head. He can outwork any of us. He has a great smile and bright eyes filled with hope for tomorrow as he speaks of family that he hasn’t seen for years. They are poor farmers and have no way to come. I don’t think they know where he is. He gets no visitors. The there is Kerry. He is also fast and very knowledgeable, but with more presence and you can tell he is the supervisor of the bunch. He keeps things in order, and has a head for organization. He knows exactly what’s planted, where it is, and what needs to be done next. He has pale skin and strawberry blonde hair and facial hair. I am sure he burns rather than tans, in the sun. He is very serious, but when he smiles, his face gets red, quickly. He shared that he is in on drunk driving charges. He was young and dumb and hopes to be back into general population as a productive citizen in a few years. He has vowed to never drink again. I will pray that he has the conviction when he is released. We also met “Hillbilly”. His shirt says K. Wyatt. He is from Arkansas and has much gardening experience as well. He is a hoot! He speaks of times past with his grandmother and helping her garden and can the food they grew. He has “general” knowledge, but more personality. He always has a one liner, and is quick on the draw. I have no doubt that he would make a great addition to any debate team. He has a sweet tooth and speaks of the desserts his grandmother made. As Easter approached, he spoke of the goodies he used to get in his Easter basket. I think he dreams of chocolate bunnies and marshmallow peeps! It is safe to say has a sweet tooth. He also has some health issues. He has a horrible cough and I fear it is something very serious. Unfortunately, I don’t think the medical care is that great and he will just have to do the best he can. He does enjoy the company and conversation of the VIC (volunteers in corrections). He will miss us. They all will. We have come to be the bright spot in their day. New faces. New conversation. I has been interesting to spend so much time with “strangers” and yet the longer we worked together, the more I could see that we are more alike than different. We all come to the green house broken in some areas of our life, trying to do the best we can, with the choices we have made, and I realized that we are all looking for redemption in some way. Some look to the judicial system, and some to the cross. We have all made mistakes, sinned, and fallen short. I feel so grateful that God kept His hand on my life and protected me from myself at times, and in other times, he let me learn and deal with the consequences of my actions. I feel so grateful that he continually reminds me of what He has done, and continues to do. What a privilege. I now have the privilege of praying for these men. I pray that God will reveal himself to them in a way that will give them hope for their futures. That they will look to Him for the strength they will need to move past this season of their lives. I am grateful that he reminds me that all I have to do is show up and have a willing heart, and he will use me to meet people where they are. Whether it’s in the grocery store, the gas station, at PV or behind the walls of a prison. He can do all things, and the best part is, he lets me in on the fun too. This spring has been a true reminder of the value of redemption, and restoration. It’s precious and we take it for granted. It has been pure joy to work along side these men, and to bring some sunshine into their day. I feel such happiness when I hear them ask,“will you come back?” I find comfort knowing that in some way I made a difference in their lives, and I will be thankful for the difference they have made in mine. We will go back when its time to plant the outside gardens, but for now I will pray, and give thanks.

Entering the "Green Zone"

Yesterday was the first day of my new adventure...behind bars.
At about 9:30am I passed through the metal detector of the Western Missouri State Correctional Facility. About 12 eager gardeners filled the orientation room where we signed more and more papers (who knew?) and were instructed once again on how to roll while behind the fence with razors edge. We had pictures taken for our prison ID's and were each presented with personal body alarms, that had a ripcord to pull in the case that someone needed some assistance from an officer. As usual there is always one in every group that seems to be "challenged" with basic instruction and fortunately that was not me. One of the master gardeners was relentless in engaging her alarm, over and over again. It was a bit humorous, but more annoying. After being properly instructed and equipped, we enter, by fours, the airlock area where you must be assessed and the determination is made whether or not the officer in the main Command Center will let you into the next area, which is the doorway that leads to the main population and the long walk to the prized Green Zone. I must add, that everyone was nice...just very serious. I realized quickly that I am bit silly, and struggled to keep my mouth from spewing the many random and yet inappropriate thoughts that were twirling in my brain. I think I did well for the most part, but I need to do better. NOTE TO SELF. From the time we opened the door on the "other side" we were given a brief tour of the facility. To our right we walked by the Visitor center, Chapel, Chow Halls, the Medical Office, Vocational Training Facilities , the Laundry, and Staff dining hall. To the left is the "Yard" with walking track , football field, and outdoor covered weight lifting area, that was busy with inmates getting some exercise.The housing lock ups loomed in the background, all along men coming and going about their day. It was about lunch time, so we walked through a busy sidewalk full with inmates looking to see what awaited them in the Chow Hall, which consisted of a mystery meat patty, mac and cheese, green beans and cake. There were guards scattered about the sidewalk. I recall about 4 that were armed with sticks, and radios, but no firearms. There was a sense of security as everyone we met was respectful, and most of the inmates looked with curiosity, but in general looked away with brief interest. We walked to the area between the general population, and the Cross Roads facility which is separated by much wire fence and easily recognized by the blue roofs. The area referred to as Cross Roads is an area that houses the "bad boys". They only get out of the cells 1 hour a day, and are rarely allowed outside of the walls of their confinement. Their entire existence is inside the cement walls of the facility, including the opportunity to exercise , where as the area that we were experiencing had a campus feel. I felt like I was visiting an all male college campus, with the exception that all the males were dressed exactly the same....and we were surrounded by wire! (Maybe some colleges would benefit from wire? Let's not go there, Kathy!)
The Green House is located between the two areas. As we approached the Green House, I could feel the excitement grow, and as the C/O lifted the garage door that leads into the house, it smelled like heaven. Well maybe not exactly heaven, but the air was humid, and you could smell soil. There were lots of tables made from steel and wire fence where soon there will be budding plants that will be enjoyed by many this summer season. At one point the sun came out and it felt hot in the house...nice treat for winter. As we explored the facility, there appeared to be some confusion on where we would begin this adventure. Assistant Warden Clevenger has had experience with green houses and the planting process, and we looked to him for some guidance and direction. As my friend Vicki and I started to become inpatient with the lack of clear direction , two of the inmates that would be assisting us appeared as the door slid open and the cool air rushed in. Offender's Kerry and Choppy arrived to get the party started. they had previously worked this green house and they appeared to have a plan! Hallelujah!
Just as they started getting things ready to roll, a suggestion was made to take a lunch break. So once again entered the main population, and walked to the Staff Dining and were treated to a free lunch. The meal consisted of the same items offed to the inmates. The hall was clean and the offenders that worked the food line were gracious and clearly took pride in their work. They also bussed the tables when we left. The service was great and the food was palatable, however I passed on the meat. I just didn't want to go there! I wasn't sure of the bathroom situation and knew that it was not my desire to take a chance on the first day of my new adventure..if you know what i mean?!
Upon our return to the house, our two helpers had things ready for us to begin and we quickly got into the business of planting. We are planting flowers at this point,as they need more time to germinate. We planted the tiniest seeds I have ever seen, 20 in a row directly on top of the soil, some of which I dumped on the ground right out of the gate! 100 of the seeds comes in a little vial, and cost about $12.00. I think I eliminates about $4 worth...at least! Oh well....I will learn from that one,( Sorry, Cliff ) and put an extra 10 spot in my offering this week just to be sure. LOL!
We planted for a short time, and the containers were moved to heating pads where the seeds will be encouraged to sprout and our new friends Kerry and Choppy ( along with a few others that we have not met yet) will make sure they are watered and the heating pads are doing their jobs. Before we left ,we did have the pleasure of meeting a gentleman referred to has Ole' Hillbilly ( I think) who will be serving the greenhouse as well. We left as he was spraying off the planting trays to be used by the next group, which is at the facility as I write. Now we wait for things to sprout, so that we can plant more , as soon as the heating pads are available for the next crop of planted trays.
One important note.We were given a tour of the restrooms close by the house. They are contained in a machine shop were the offenders and staff work maintenance. It feels like the shop at ABF where Mr. P works. They are close and clean and they have a door that locks! YEA for me. This will allow me to be properly hydrated through my adventure. It's the little things sometimes.
We said our goodbyes to our new friends and left the prison through all the procedure in which we arrived. As I drove away, I felt a sense of God's protection and goodness in my life, and the blessing of knowing I was going home to a life a freedom and opportunity that I often take for granted. Okay...I take for granted every minute of everyday! This might just be part of what God is teaching me as I enjoy this adventure. I pray that my eyes and heart are wide open. I pray that in some way God uses me to bless those the I connect with. I pray that I grow and sprout along with the seeds that are planted. I pray that no mater what happens...I can still remain a bit silly and see the humor in life...and God smiling.
So for now....I will keep you posted. Just look for the posts in GREEN for more on the Green Zone

Going Green

Going Green. The term conjures up thoughts of recycling, taking care of our environment, being a good steward of the earths resources, things like that. Is that what your thinking as well? That's not exactly where my mind is traveling. Don't get me wrong. I love the idea of taking care of our environment. I recycle, much to my husbands annoyance. He keeps reminding me of how God will make the earth new and all of this mess will be a faded memory. I still seems like we should try our best to care for the earth, and also being good stewards. If you know me at all, I am a bit OCD about not being wasteful. Time, money, food....you name it. I loathe waste. It seems wrong on every level. All of that to say the idea of taking care of business is a thumbs up for me!
The green I am pondering is the color green, and then some. Okay...I bet you are now thinking green beer, and St. Patty's Day. No not that green, but the green I dream of is green grass, green plant and now a greenhouse. Specifically the green that grows as Spring comes near. Normally about this time of year, I sit quietly in my chair with magazines,books, and catalogs surrounding me as I finger through the pages and pages of glorious blooms that I long for. I take my mind to a place so real, that I can see it, and smell it. I feel the warmth of the sun and sense the moist air of freshly sprinkled tender plants that drink up all the H2O they can swallow. I can picture myself lugging large bags of soil that is necessary to begin the bedding of the new treasures I have purchased from here ,there and yon. This winter is a bit different. My addiction to green is taking me on paths less traveled. Actually for me this is entirely new "turf". Something new, and something different. The road leads to Cameron. To be exact, the Western Missouri Correctional Facility. Now, there's certainly something new for me. Fortunately, I have personally never had to enter the gates of this facility, or any other with such a title. I own no bragging rights to this statement. I will admit that I have walked a youthful and very rebellious road that could have lead to such confinement. Simply said, I never got caught! Whether it be Gods grace or the act of being really sneaky, the fact is that as I approach the day that I enter the protected boundaries of the correctional faculty, I will give thanks that I come as a volunteer, not an inmate. I could not imagine a life with such limitations. I really like my freedom and being locked behind the razor edged fence is not my idea of life. Back to the green. This particular faculty has a green house. Yes, GREEN HOUSE. Who knew? Not I. But once I knew, and once the word on the street was that Cliff Harper was making plans to take a team to work with inmates in the green house , I couldn't say quickly enough "Sign Me Up!". But woooo, lets slow down, Kathy! Little did I know getting into the prison was so difficult. I guess I could have just committed a crime, but then there is that volunteer status that I desire to hang on to,and all my luck I would end up in a place without a greenhouse, and I would be upset. Very upset! Anyway, the first step was signing up for the team, the second was a brief signing interview where I signed so many papers you would have thought I was purchasing a house, to include some paper work that agreed I would not have sexual relations with any of the inmates or supervisors. Who knew, but I signed happily. Yes,this was something not on my bucket list! From there I took a drug test ( which I passed, in case you were wondering ) in which I was taken to a "secure" restroom where some poor female correctional officer had to do the honors, and then finally to an interview where one officer asked me questions and wrote my responses, and another watched me answer. Carefully watched me answer. Can you say creeeeepy! Oh well, I guess they believed that I had no sinister reasons for wanting to enter the faculty. I am sure there are desperate women who might want to find a man badly enough to look for one that's locked behind bars, and then there are those that try to bust out loved ones, or some that just like bad boys. None of which is on my radar. From the interview I had to plan for Tb testing (round one of two is complete) Hepatitis injections, training with another correctional officer, and hopefully finally to the prized GREENHOUSE! Oh my gosh....all this for green!
Truly, I can't wait. I am excited and am anticipating a surprise or two to come from this adventure. Maybe God can use my addiction to green to bring encouragement and friendship to those that live the lives soiled by crime and bad choices. Maybe He will bring the same to my life which has also been soiled by bad choices I might add. I guess we will see. I will keep you posted. For now please pray that God keeps my eyes open to new opportunities and on the path that leads to green!

How Big?

As I cracked open my latest book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, I knew from the moment I began, this guy has "IT". He has captured in his mind to a much greater extent than I, just how BIG this God of ours is. He comes not from the world of ease and dragging with him this sense of "all is well and the big guy has my back", but from loss. He has lost just about every adult figure in a young mans life, tragically, horribly, and yet he gets "IT". He has been "given" the ability to see what is before him. I am only into the book a short way, but so far I can see where I have gotten complacent. Maybe comfortable is a better description. My eyes are open, but I don't see. I miss the miracles that surround me. I spend more time focusing on what is not like I think it should be , and in my narrow minded focus of those wrongs ( so I perceive) I miss the glory that is about me , as if its too small to be worthy of my notice. This I will change! One of my conclusions thus far , is that he first had the desire to see. He was "open" for this experience, and ready for growth. he was ready to see what God had for him. I have pictured in my mind a picture of Francis sitting at a bus stop with lunch pail in tow, eyes wide open and dressed with eagerness to jump in the bus, like a child of to his first day of kindergarten. Ready, excited, and longing to embrace what lies ahead. Full of anticipation. Unlike myself, that has the attitude of "been there done that". I choose not to live each day full of expectation, excitement, and eagerness to see "what is God going to do today?!" Don't get me wrong. I have those moments, and sometimes a entire day, but look what I am missing by not making the choice to live this was daily. Look at all the other days I drag myself through, thinking to myself silently "when will this be over?". Thank you Francis for the kick in the pants. Today will be different for me. well at least that's a start, right? I will be open, excited, and eager to see what God will do today, and tomorrow, and the next day..and when I feel myself falling back into the pit of apathy ( oh, and I will )I pray that my inner voice will whisper..."what about that's huge God that has a love so crazy for you-don't miss this Kathy".

Choices

As I ponder the state of my affairs, which are quite dull at this point in the season, I find the need to dress fashionably required less each day. As I have settled into the quiet days of gloom and limited sunshine, I gravitate to things that bring a sense of warmth and security. Items in the wardrobe that have been hidden and see the light of day, little, Sweat pants. Need I say more. How more unattractive can a pant be. It is less flattering piece of clothing than anything I own. It has earned the blue ribbon distinction of "what not to wear...EVER!" Especially for woman. I think men can pull of the sweat pant a little more dignified, especially if they are tall and the keep the waist where they were designed to be. (That's why the call it the waist, people!) There are some sweats the offer the sign of the swoosh that say "I am athletic" and then the X -looking symbol that means the owner has paid way more than a pair of sweats should cost because they feel trendy and cool (or is it hot?) while sporting the symbol. And of course lets not forget the brand that screams "we are all champions". Yea, guys can pull it off without looking like frumps.
I guess maybe if I went to Victoria Secret to purchase mine I could have a pair that scream out "PINK". But none the less, I would still look like I was ready for slumber, resemble the shape of a tomato, and have the "take me to Walmart" glow . You might be asking yourself by now..."then why does she wear them anyway?". The answer is easy. For everything they are not as far as fashion is concerned they make up for in COMFORT. Pure ole, unadulterated comfort. The kind that makes you say to yourself.....ahhhh...yea. No wedgie from the jeans that hike up to the north pole, no waist band that binds, not even a tug around the knee when you get on the floor to clean up the Sophie drool. No thought of "Wow, that dryer must've been hot and shrunk my pants", no "What the heck happened to these since the last time I wore them!" Not even the thought of "Hey, I better walk away and not eat another girl scout cookie". I guess I am working my way to the real issue of the dreaded sweat pant. As I write this I am eying the clock , counting the minutes until I must slide from the comforts of the light green cotton fabric, leaving behind the feeling of "all is well "..."I'm okay, you're okay"..." and face the reality of suck it up and suck it in! It time to break the jeans out of the dryer, and make myself presentable to the world that waits.
It's best that spring come soon, so that I can stop the madness of being torn between two worlds. That of a an old woman who could live in a shoe wearing her sweatpants and caring for her brood. And the other of the woman who wants to live in the world embracing some sense of fashion and culture . To keep her continued quest for clothing with zippers, curves, something that might enhance and flatter, sporting bobbles that in some way indicate to those that question that a Diva resides within.
So to the dryer I go. Wish me luck!

It is what it is!

Well, as usual , its been a long time since my last blog. I have done little reflecting, but busy doing the details of life. This Christmas season has afforded me some time to settle myself and "process". I use to despise that term..."process". Sounds like a bad cheese...something less than quality, something to avoid...which leads me to my distaste for the word. Avoidance. I have never been one to avoid, however as I have aged, gracefully or not, I have embraced the behavior of so many I love, and that is to choose not to " think", "analyze", or "process" what I am going through. I think its because I am getting tired, and have chosen to give up the thought that IF I can understand, analyze, or process the circumstances of life, desirable or not, I can then devise a plan to avoid or re-create the particular outcome. In some cases, I have been very successful and have enjoyed great results . I still see the art of reflecting as a bit of a talent. One to be practiced. One I have been emotionally too drained to carry out.
Well ...I am back in the game!! I did nothing through the Holiday Season...and I mean nothing. At one point I thought I may be heading down the road to "disconnecting" from reality. I even had those fleeting moments of.."I don't want to play anymore". Maybe quit my job, or just never go back and see how long it would take for them to notice ( HA..that makes me smile to think about it), or maybe stop seizing the opportunities to reach out to others and try to make what ever difference I can in the difficulties and tragedies of their lives, maybe let my "hairy friends" and family find someone else to coiffure their lovely locks, maybe look away when crisis hits our family, and let someone else figure it all out and look the other way as if none of it really occurred. I had fleeting moments of living the life of a "kept woman" and start taking notes from the tv shows that highlight the women who are "real housewives". LOL! Yea.....NO! That just gave me cold chills. Just think of all the plastic surgery that would require. :-)
Once again, after time to reflect,analyze, yes... process,which clearly I needed (DAH, Kathy ), I have come back to the conclusion that I am who I am . I choose to embrace the life I have reached out and grabbed a hold of...and its messy, and it hurts, it can be very disappointing sometimes, it wears me out, it requires much of me, and sometimes, most of the time, it requires more that I have..thus the part that keeps me coming back for more. The part where it takes Jesus in me to do what is to be done, in any situation he bring me to and then he teaches me to love those in my life in a new and different way. Loving without expectation, in humility, and unconditionally. Seizing each opportunity to make a difference when I can, and walk away when I can't. To help, but never enable. That's one of the things I have learned since my last blog attempt...that sometimes I pick up things never intended for me. Things that are usually so dysfunctional that that should be screaming WARNING ...BACK A WAY FROM THE AREA!
This is letting go of something near and dear to me... pleasing others. "Gasp!" There I said it. My hearts desire is to say "No" when it needs to be said. To not take on things that are not mine to take. Let others keep their treasures for themselves, and direct them to the one that can help. This is harder than it seems, but well worth the effort to learn. Its helps me to see that without some of the extra weight that doesn't belong to me, that isn't divinely directed, I can have the energy to do what is mine to do, and to be who I am meant to be. It might even give me back some of the time to reflect, analyze..and process. After all....it is what it is!

Its been a long year

Okay Michele,( with 1 L) here you are.........
After feeling the winter hawk blow through the tree bare trees, I am reminded of the fact that it has been one year since God turned my world upside down, literally. Let me explain;
It was this time last year that during a brief meeting with a freind that I read the "job description" for the K-2 Director of PV. After reading the paper, I looked up at Bobbie and she asked, "what can't you do on this list that you can't learn?" Followed with the question," have you even prayed about it?" I am pretty sure that it was an off the cuff question, and looking back, I have wondered many times just why I remember that so vividly? I know that it was a pivotal moment for a change that I never saw coming. As they say, God has a plan for all of us. This is definitely not one that I saw coming, it was more like being broadsided by a bus! None the less, I read, I thought, and I prayed. From the first time I prayed about it, there began a stirring in my soul like I had felt just a few times before, but never about something so crazy! I mean, how nuts is the whole idea. I am a hairdresser, 30 years and counting, and still loving it. Some have said that I had the perfect work situation. I was successful, had many clients, I loved what I was doing, had a great schedule, made great money, had wonderful clients that I had grew to love, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
As I prayed about this opportunity. I began to have sleepless nights. There was a wrestling in my soul. God was nudging me. It seemed to me that he was nudging me, ever so gently, none the less it was toward a cliff, with a great big drop off!! A GIANT leap to something that I didn't want. It wasn't me. It just wasn't me! Working at a CHURCH! What a feakin joke! NOT POSSIBLE! Give up all I had worked for . NOT POSSIBLE. Make less money, work more hours, NOT POSSIBLE! I loved serving there, but working there, leave the Salon? Not Possible!
God certainly had another plan. He knew as much as I wanted to keep my life comfortable, that being obedient to Him was more important. He saw thing in me that I did not see in myself. Good and bad. He knew that He could only use me the way that He wanted to use me, for the kingdom, that He had to adjust my comfort level just a bit. Okay, a lot! I feel like a vase that was full. Full of water, full of flowers and full of myself. I was okay, but not the way he wanted me to be, so that he could fulfill the purpose that He had for me, at this time of my life.
So from the time I said yes to Him, He began taking me, like a vase and first he shook the vase, then he pulled the flowers out, one at a time, until there were none. Then it was time to dump the water. A little smelly, like water gets in a vase after a while. One slosh and then another. As the vase, I, emptied, there wasnt much room for what He wanted to put in there. I see it as humility. One must be humble to truly serve the King. When you are emptied of yourself, you must rely on Him for everything. I knew quickly that this was not a task that i could do unless I leaned on Him, and on some days, He has carried me. One foot in front of the other. Then again. No magic. Just perseverance. Just walking with Him. Just learning to trust in Him, and not myself.
My faith has grown. I am a more humble person. I walk in blind faith daily. I am still uncomfortable, but its getting better. I think I am finally over being mad. Ha! That sounds funny, but oh, its true. I have visualized Him like a parent watching a child having a temper tantrum, just watching and smiling (okay remember He is God- he would laugh!). He is giving me all the time I need. He gives me little glimpses of what He has for me now and again, and as I choose to see His provision, I am amazed. He has taught me so much. So quickly. It has been a constant reminder of how much I mean to Him and how much He loves me, how much He believes in me. Enough to trust me with the precious souls that he surrounds me with daily.
Today I had the experience of holding the face of a little boy, whose Daddy had died suddenly. Its been 2 days, and there he was, in K-2, looking for love and kindness. I shuttered as I saw him, and thought, "I can't do this", and than the still small voice came and said " this is why I have brought you here- I AM with you!". It was tough, but it was okay, and the hug & smile he left me with was something I will not forget. And from there I was able to hug a young man that felt like killing himself this week, and he reached out to me, trusting that I could handle what he had to say. He's okay. It was a BAD week and he is working through it. But he wanted to be in K-2 today. And then the huge, tattooed, Biker guy that comes to pick up his son, and he looked at me and told me that " he loved this church and bringing his kids here". I asked him to come and be a part of it. His eyes looked deeply into mine and he said " you mean it? I would love that!"
I know that as the days go by, God will bless me in many ways, and I will have many stories to share. And I will see Jesus work many wonders in the lives of those that come seeking Him. Big people, small people, messed up people, together people, hurting people, happy people. His people.
I will do what he calls me to do as he fill me up, like a vase, with what he sees fit. What he wants for me. I pray that I will always be humble enough to accept what he has for me. Graciously, just as He gives it.
We will see what this next year brings, as he nudges me, carries me and loves me.